I'm in a funk

I really feel depressed today. I can't believe I'm posting this for all to read because it's truly embarrassing. Losing my car has really changed the way I look at things. It was worse than turning 30. WAY worse. I feel like my "fun life" is over, and now it's time for a "responsible life." Anyone who knows me will see the irony in that. The Mini was the ONLY frivolous thing in my life, and it wasn't even that frivolous. It got us from point A to point B in style and nearly 40mpg. I feel like this car brings us one step closer to family life, and if you're wondering how I feel about that topic, back up a few blog posts and you'll see.

I pride myself on being responsible...the bills are always paid on time, I pick up my dog's poop in biodegradable baggies (expensive biodegradable baggies, I might add), I follow a healthy diet, I stick to my morals, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. And I do all of these things not because I have to, but because I want to. (Not that I want to spend $8 for a pack of biodegradable baggies when I could very well get plastic bags at the store and then use them to pick up the poop, but I am, first and foremost, an environmentalist, and my moral compass points me to the biodegradable bags.)

Being responsible for myself is a piece of cake. I'm responsible for Chris and the animals as well, but it's still not hard. Now I'm getting a car (no, I HAVE a car) that makes me feel like a parent just by looking at it. Besides thinking that the car is ugly and cheap looking, it shocks me into the reality that someday there may be a carseat in the back seat. Maybe more than one carseat!

I don't know what bothers me more...the fact that I had to give up something I love so much, or the fact that it's time for me to grow up. I'm still trying to reason that out in my head. Obviously there's not much reason going on up there, though. But if I could nail down my emotions and figure out where all of this weepiness is coming from, that would be a step in the right direction.

I'm in love with a car

Yes, it's true, (I guess this qualifies as a confession), I'm in love with a car, but not a car that I'm getting. I'm in love with a car that we're getting rid of. At this very moment, Chris is at Northtown auto dealership trading in our beloved Fletcher for a car that I really, really don't want. I am fully aware that I'm being completely irrational, however, cars are one of my vices. I will shop at the salvation army for clothes, and I will do without a lot of things, but I have to have a car that I love. I don't need an expensive car, I just need to love it. The Mini Cooper was my dream car. The fact that I could get a turquoise one made it even better. But Chris is the one who drove it most of the time, and I drove the black Jetta. The Jetta was to be returned in August (we leased it), so then we'd have Fletcher, the Mini, and Elphie, the Pilot (green, of course). I can see where Chris was coming from...driving it every day was probably a little rough on him. The small size and tight suspension made it kind of a punishing ride, and he has to drive to downtown Buffalo every day for his job. Still, I'm very sad to be getting rid of it. I'm crying real tears of sorrow knowing that Chris will not be driving home in Fletcher, but instead will be pulling into the driveway with a red 2008 VW Jetta Wolfsburg. I know I will be judged for this posting (if anyone reads it) for crying over something so trivial, but this is who I am. I am a car lover. One who drove a Mini Cooper for a glorious 11 months, and who smiled every time I got behind the wheel.

Here it is on the day we picked it up.


One day we loaded it up with Chris' planes and took it to the flying field.

We're car shopping. Again.

Confession: We're compulsive car shoppers. Right now we have three cars. The oldest one is a 2004. We have a reason for having three cars, but still....we have three cars. And two people to drive them. Sure, having three cars came in handy the day that the Jetta broke, because I drove back home and took the Pilot instead. This is the second time we've had three cars. Last time, Chris had a job in Cheektowaga. We had a Jetta and a Grand Cherokee, and both of us had long commutes, so we got a Corolla to get him to work. Then he got a job closer to home, so we traded in the Jeep and the Corolla and got the Pilot. We were back down to two cars while Chris was working in town, but then he got another job in Buffalo, this time at Canisius College, so we went car shopping again last summer and ended up with a Mini Cooper. Back to three cars.

We balloon financed the Jetta, and that term is up in August, so we thought we'd be getting rid of the Jetta this year and go back down to two cars, but somehow we're shopping again. This time we'll probably trade in the Jetta and the Mini so we'll be back down to two cars, but we will have had the Mini for less than a year! I'll be bummed to get rid of that car...I really love it. But then again, I hardly ever get to drive it, so it won't make a whole lot of difference anyway.